Fringe Friday – The Surprise! Surprise! Edition

on July 2017 | in Sports | by Dario Passarelli | @PapaDart | with No Comments

99% of the people that read this post do so because sports is a part of their life, maybe even a huge part of it. The other 1% (hi mom!) read it because they love me. This post is slightly off kilter as it isn’t directly related to sports, but the fan experience at sporting events. Now, no matter how big sports plays a part in your life, your life should never be a part of sports. It may seem like a strange statement to make but let me clarify. Fans should not be able to use sports and/or a sporting event to help enhance a “life” moment. It may be a great idea and in most cases it is not only successful, but does provide a beautiful moment as well. But when it fails, it is a Category 1 type failure giving everyone a nauseating feeling that quite frankly, doesn’t belong.

One of these “life moments” I am referring too is that “Surprise!” person in the team mascot costume who reveals him or herself to be the spouse of some unsuspecting fan. It is a touchy touchy feely feely moment for not only the returning soldier and their spouse, but for the everyon. Since there isn’t enough good things for our soldiers I am all for it. There are however, other life moments that provide no such guarantees. By now I’m sure you have realized I am speaking of the ever popular, “Will you marry me” moments that spring up at sporting events.

Stop it. Just stop it.

Now this has nothing to do with the institution of marriage. Despite being separated (hi ex!) I still believe in marriage. Having said that though, any marriage proposal is a very nerve wracking time. For the most part, when a man (or woman for that matter) does the “Surprise!” proposal at a sporting event, it just isn’t anxious for them but for everyone else too. No matter how prepared you are, no matter how certain you think their answer will be yes, there just really isn’t any way to know for sure.

That video is certifiably cringe worthy and could have very well ruined my relaxing day at the ballpark if I was there. By now, everyone should know better than to get in the way of me enjoying my sporting events. In fact, if you closely look at the very small, fine print on Moses’ tablets, the 11th commandment does say that… but I digress.

In all seriousness, I know some people might think that these proposals are cute or makes the proposal “special’ but more than anything, it usually boils down to the person’s ego. I don’t have a problem with that per se, but I do have an issue when it infringes on my and everyone else’s enjoyment of a game. In case you are wondering, yes… I am not a fan favourite of the kiss cam either, but I am willing to cope with it.

I sincerely doubt that marriage proposals are going to be banned, but at least they can make them more entertaining for everyone. Here is my proposal, if you are going to invade my time and be a part of the sporting event, then the sporting event should invade your time and be a part of your life moment. Quite simply then, if you propose to your significant other not only do they have to say “yes” but the home team also has to win the game. That’s right… you heard me. Whether you get married or not could depend on how good your home team is.

That would be good news moving forward for Toronto Maple Leafs proposals but not so much for Blue Jays ones. If you really want to get married then do it at a TFC game who are undefeated at home so far this year or better yet, take your future spouse to a Toronto Wolfpack game and guarantee it as they are a perfect 15-0. So what happens if the game ends in an a draw? That’s easy… elope.

On a side note, there are now other “life moments” that have entered the world of sports and I am not bashing them (pun intended) because they aren’t interfering with my enjoyment of a game. Apparently it is pretty cool these days for men to find out the sex of their future child through a baseball. Something such as this…

Awww… isn’t that sweet? See I don’t have any issues with that whatsoever as it only involves the couple surrounded by their friends and family. Personally, I don’t think anyone should find out the sex of the baby until they are born as it truly is one of the last biggest surprises in your life. But that’s just my humble opinion and certainly not shared by others (hello to the ex again). So if you would like to do this cute, sports related reveal then by all means please do so. After all, nothing could possibly go wrong… could it?

Ouch! I bet if I hit my ex in the face that hard with a fake baseball, there’s a good chance my bat would be snipped and we would be questioning what sex I was moving forward. Thankfully she didn’t like baseball back then.

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